Week 2: I Tried Pilates and Accidentally Farted

Dear diary, and any woman who's ever released a surprise toot in public...

I went to my first real fitness class in years. Pilates. I thought it’d be gentle. Peaceful. Maybe a bit bougie. I was wrong.

Turns out, trying to activate your “deep core” after a decade of neglect is like asking your cat to do taxes. My core said “lol no,” my legs wobbled, and my dignity slipped out somewhere between the second set of roll-ups and a mortifying pop during Happy Baby pose.

Yes. That happened. And yes. I made eye contact with the instructor immediately after. She pretended not to notice. Which somehow made it worse.

The Experience: Stretch, Strain and a Hint of Humiliation

Let’s set the scene:
I rocked up in my TYNA full set looking the part, might I add, armed with water, a spare hair tie, and absolutely no idea what a “Hundred” was (spoiler: it’s a horror disguised as breathing).

The room was all calm energy and scented candles. Then me. Overthinking everything. Is my mat too close to hers? Should my legs be shaking this much? Why is everyone so serene?

By the end, my muscles were trembling, my brain was mush, and my hamstrings were personally offended. But...I felt taller. Like, emotionally.

Mini Rant: Why Is It So Hard to Feel Like We Belong?

It’s wild how much effort it takes to walk into a space where everyone looks like they already “know the moves.” I was in my head the whole time. Wondering if my bum looked big. (It does. But in a juicy, peachy, TYNA-enhanced way.)

But here’s what I realised mid-downward leg shake: everybody starts somewhere. And no one’s really paying attention to you. They’re too busy hoping they don’t fart too.

TYNA Tip of the Week

Honestly, if I wasn’t in TYNA leggings, I’d have left halfway through. They were breathable, flexible, and didn’t give me camel toe in the “roll like a ball” move (don’t ask). The matching bra top didn’t ride up either. Practical and cute. Ideal for when you’re doing crunches and having a quiet existential crisis.

Oh, and the fit? Glorious. Sophisticated enough to distract from the fact I had zero idea what I was doing.

Real Talk for the Midlife Queens

We don’t talk enough about how intimidating it is to try something new in your 40s. It’s like being the new kid at school, except you’re sweaty and your joints click.

But movement isn’t just about muscles, it’s about bravery.
It’s about saying, “I deserve to take up space, even in a Pilates class I don’t understand.”

And yeah, our bodies have changed. So have our priorities. But this is still our time to show up for ourselves, no matter how clumsy it looks.

What’s Next:

I’ve booked again for next week. Glutton for punishment? Maybe. But also...I left that class walking taller, with a teeny bit of pride sneaking in.

Also? I’m curious. What else can this body do?